Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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