It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
organizing the empties. That sober.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
