Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
