I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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