my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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