I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
