She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Randomize
