he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
