Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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