Sry I called you an 8
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
