Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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