I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
a search helicopter?!
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I currently don't understand fingers.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
