im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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