What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
