sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
