thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize