I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
