Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
