DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
