If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
This toilet bowl is my home.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
