God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
