Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
