Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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