If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
is that a dick in a sweater?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
