you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
