so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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