forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
