I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
