Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You dont lie about slip and slides
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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