Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
