brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
