Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
