There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize