Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Randomize
