you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
and i looked up. we had an audience...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
