worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
