Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
