Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
