Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
