i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She needs sedatives and a leash
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
