I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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