I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
