Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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