break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
