I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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