so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
