I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
