so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
