Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
