i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize