I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
