is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
