Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
