I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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