I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Found your dick twin last night
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
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