On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
