I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
