That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
