it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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