Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize