Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize