'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
