I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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