why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
