And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i want to swaddle you in tequila
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
