You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Randomize
